6.27.2008

It's a Grind doesn't make the cut

Wanted a nice Americano this morning. Headed over to the "It's a Grind" at 10th and J street near Petco Park. I've been to this place a few times and the vibe is real funky here. Usually there's a homeless guy out front. Service is usually slow so it's not a place I'd try to pop in to get a quick cup of coffee. But if you want an espresso your choices are limited within a five minute walk of the ball park.

Nice girl took my order though she seemed a bit distracted which is common in this place. Then I walk over near the pick up counter to await my coffee. The three people in front of me eventually got their coffee. Then the three people behind me got their orders. And note - these weren't just coffee orders from the pre-brewed pots they were espresso and latte and iced coffee orders.

Now I'm watching this dumbass try to figure out the difference between the medium and large cups. This literally took 2 or 3 minutes. He can see me standing there watching him. I spend my time reading a ridiculous petition to make Petco Park's Park at the Park a Leash Free park, but I won't get into that idiotic nonsense...

20 minutes after placing my order and watching numerous people behind me get their orders dipshit calls my name. He asks if I want hot or cold water in my Americano. This inept mentally stunted fool works in a coffee house and he does not know what a fucking Americano is??? I pointedly tell him Hot! Three minutes later he finally hands me my coffee and proceeds to spill boiling fucking coffee all over my hand. However he couldn't be bothered with that triviality because he needed to keep on his conversation with some girl in the place.

I turned to him and said: Hey spanky I know your job is very complicated but perhaps if you could focus for just three minutes you could make an espresso without burning your customer...

I understand that people's job opportunities are limited to their own physical and mental capacities. This guy has exceeded his...

So now we need to find Ray a new coffee house within a five minute walk of Petco Park or Ray is going to get Grumpy...

6.24.2008

The Toe Nail

Cutting my pinky toe nail this morning.

I Clipped.

Toe nail shrapnel ablated directly from my left pinky toe to my left eye.

I am now suing God for my faulty left toe and I'm suing Revlon for marketing a dangerous toe nail clipper without a toe nail deflection device! Additionally there is not warning label on my toe nail clipper warning of the potential for toe nail shrapnel to fly directly into ones ocular pod region!

This is just a blatant disregard for the well being of our fellow man based on our capitalistic anti-individualistic government! If ever there was a time for a call to the concepts of antidisestablishmentarianism that time is NOW!